HIYA SWIRL FRIENDS!

LET'S SWIRL ON INTO IT SHALL WE?

Welcome one and all to my FIRST EVER SUBSTACK POST HOLY HELLY?! And before I swirl on into it, I’d like to just give a YUGE merci to all of you sexi ho’s out there in the web-a-verse. As I’m sure you can tell I don’t take much too seriously but the amount of love I’ve felt from ya’ll over this last month has been squirt-tastic and I mean SQUIRTJIOVWNJR.

Thank you, merci, gracias, obrigado all of you whores. I’m grateful to be in your presence. Cheers to many more!

*sniff *sniff *tear

Whew, ok down to business.

As I’m sure you’ve been getting ABUSED by all of my posts I thought it’d best to swirl on into a freakin’ newsletter to help keep ya’ll up to date on my whereabouts in the coming months. I quite LITERALLY need to meet each and every one of you before I die, so, let’s begin…

JUNE 2 {5-8p} NYC I’m teaming up with Never Fully Dressed for a Swirl School: Feelin’ Good event. Think Swirl School (4 wines, cunty education) meets every y2k rom com shopping/trying on clothes montage. It’ll be $FREE.99 to RSVP but capacity is limited. A special few will be given a chance to be styled by NFD’s very own Lucy Aylen colorful diva EXTRAORDINAIRE while the rest of us sip and talk shit. IT’S FINNA BE A BALL!

Stay tuned for RSVP link.

JUNE 7 {6-9p} SWIRL SCHOOL: NY Location will be revealed JUNE 6 just to keep ya’ll ho’s on your toes {DID I JUST RHYME} I’ll pour 6 wines, I teach a dance, we talk a whole lotta shit. B THUR OR B SQURR.

JULY 11 {6-9p} SWIRL SCHOOL: LA NORTH HOLLYWOOD ya’ll asked, I received, now it’s happening. I CAN’T WAIT TO SWIRL WITH YOU CALIFORNIANS’ —tickets are live for you special few. Post for the masses will be this week!

JULY 16 {6-9p} SWIRL SCHOOL: NJ (suck it up and let’s go to jersey people, GAWD)

OK YAY!

Before I go I wanted to drop in a couple of discount codes for you special few who are reading this. Because, you don’t have to be here and you’ve gotten this far with me so YOU DESERVE IT!

The first is NON, my sexi non-alchy counterpart who’s orgasmic marketing makes me want to do something strange for a piece of change. Use my code AMARI15 for a hook up.

Next is the ONLY canned wine I can properly endorse because I was so sick of being disappointed in canned wines until I met my MAKER. Plus its lady owned and operated, need I say more??!?!?! Use this link to get a hook up.

Last but certainly not least, we have my AMAZON STOREFRONT where I (regrettably) buy the majority of my clothes. I also lowkey/highkey want Jeff-B to be my shuga daddy. WHO WOULDN’T?!

I love you swirly’s, tootoloo

xo

Amari